Self = Your Health

This is a Brené Brown classic. While The Power of Vulnerability (listed below) is about the profound benefits we reap when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, this book (Daring Greatly) is about exercising the courage to do so when the world around us reinforces perfectionism. This concept is an essential part of any productive experience in therapy--being vulnerable enough to examine ourselves is like opening the door to the life we want to live, but taking courageous action is like stepping through it. And while I've seen many of my clients get to the point of living this way, committing and re-committing to this action of acknowledging our struggles and flaws can feel impossible with constant messaging from the media that we have to be perfect. That's why I recommend this book so wholeheartedly--it offers a compelling narrative about the peace and beauty and connection that's on the other side of that door, if only we have the courage to walk through it. It's a truly motivating and inspiring book and if you read it I know it will change the way you look at your own imperfections for the better.

The reason many people reach out to me is because they unknowingly have the desire to answer this question: Is it possible to find meaning amidst the experience of suffering? Let me tell you if it's not clear already...I wholeheartedly believe the answer is YES. Meaning is always there to be found, should we be willing enough--brave enough--to find it. Viktor Frankl knows this through experience. If you are not familiar with this classic book, it's a memoir he wrote about his time spent in Nazi concentration camps. He lost everyone and everything he loved and yet he was able to find meaning and continue with life in a willful, intentional, purposeful way. While dark and definitely difficult to read, I believe this book offers something invaluable to those searching for a way out of their suffering--the encouragement that there is a choice to find meaning in the painful things we cannot control.

The Power of Vulnerability is just one of the books I recommend by Brené Brown. My reason for including this one is simple: the conscious practice of vulnerability is irreplaceable when it comes to producing the change we wish to make in therapy. When we feel trapped by things we don't like about ourselves or the way we experience the world, the ability to "get unstuck" often comes down to our own willingness to be vulnerable. It takes vulnerability to look at ourselves and examine our pain points. It takes vulnerability to share those things with other humans (therapists included). And it takes vulnerability to be open to trying new ways of thinking and behaving. In my clinical experience, all three of those vulnerabilities are necessary in order to create the love, happiness, and fulfillment that most people seek; practicing vulnerability is actually practicing bravery and self-confidence. If vulnerability feels especially hard for you (or maybe even silly), then you're likely someone who would benefit the most from this book. Regardless, I encourage everyone to give it a read.

It has become an almost routine part of my work to explain how mindfulness fits into the framework of therapy, the process of accomplishing change unique to each person. I usually make a triangle with my hands and explain how the progress of treatment inevitably rests on the integrity of the bottom layer. That a foundation of mindfulness is what allows us to notice the ways we engage with the world, the patterns of experiences we have, and the power of simply "noticing" the parts of being human without needing to exert control over them. This book does a fantastic job of helping us understand how the "mind" can interfere with our ability to live life in a present, peaceful, and fulfilled way and how awareness holds the key to shifting our patterns. As the author says, "you'll never be free of problems until you are free from the part within that has so many problems." Clients often report that this book changes the way they view themselves and even the idea of living itself. If that's something you're interested in, I highly recommend you open this book.